It has been brought to my attention by my attorney, Dr Eugene Trump, that there has already been complaints about my my website. It seems that some people don't believe what has been written about me and my extraordinary life! I have been advised to issue this disclaimer. Could you please read it and then touch your screen to confirm that you understand and accept it:

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited.Some assembly required. Severe tyre damage. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Not to be taken internally. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy machinery. As seen on TV. Subject to F.A.A. approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Sanitized for your protection. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use
only. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. Use only as directed. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice.Simulated picture. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. One size fits all. Colors may, in time, fade. Slippery when wet. For official use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Edited for television. Not responsible for failure to perform. Not the Beatles. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.Avoid contact with skin. Sign here without admitting guilt. Employees and their families are not eligible. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Decision of judges is final. This bag is not a toy. Keep away from children. Actual milage may vary. This supercedes all previous notices.